A woman jumps off a plank into Belize's Caribbean waters last year. It doesn't look so bad. Picture: Readers/Grant Molony Source: news.com.au
A TRAVEL editor has blasted a list of popular destinations, declaring them a waste of time. The good news is that he has advice on where you should go instead.
His rant does have a touch of American "we do everything better than anyone else". But there are some true points.
What do you think? Is he right? Tell us which destinations really should have been on this list.
Buenos Aires
While Landsel agrees the food is cheap and the ice-cream is outstanding, he’s not very flattering about the capital of Argentina.
"A flat, humid wasteland as appealing as Nebraska. Oh, and about that architecture? Please. If you want Europe, don't go scratching around the end of the world for some place that bears a vague resemblance. Just go to Europe. Also, the restaurants in Europe generally don't give you food poisoning."
Ouch. So where does he suggest going instead?
Rio de Janeiro. He says Rio is "boundlessly dramatic" and it is bound to have an impact on any traveller.
"Sometimes that means falling hopelessly in love; for others it may mean a string of crushing panic attacks. Either way, nobody forgets.”
Berlin
Landsel says the only reason to bother with Europe is to soak up the continent’s past. Berlin, he thinks, is too young.
“Berlin is too modern, too sterile, too expensive and too unsure of itself to merit much of your time or money.”
So where does he suggest instead? Not one, but three places. Prague, Vienna and Budapest.
Chicago
Landsel says there is no way Chicago is a world class city. “Look too far past the glittering Potemkin village at Chicago's centre and you'll find yourself near or at the bottom of a sad pile of poor to average.”
Geese fly over Lake Michigan at Montrose Beach in Chicag. Picture: AP Source: AP
Instead he suggests heading to Detroit because it’s “more honest”, has great art, architecture, music, the food is better and the beer is cheaper. Much cheaper.
Costa Rica
Landsel says people who travel to Costa Rica are "burdened with the need to be unusual". Instead he says they should head to Hawaii where the roads are better, things are tidier and the food “is actually interesting.”
The Caribbean
Crystal clear blue water, palm trees and coconuts. What’s not to love about the Caribbean? A lot apparently.
Landsel says: “Most of the Caribbean islands worth visiting are, these days, an expensive and time-sucking nightmare to reach. Also: Too many of the islands are depressingly violent, pathetically corrupt and / or hopelessly dysfunctional.”
Instead he says travellers should go to Mexico.
San Francisco
A favourite with Australians, but not with Landsel. He has no love for San Fran.
“Negotiating of the antiquated public transit, the smell of body odour rising off unwashed pavement, the surly, do-as-little-as-possible hotel employee, yet another restaurant server who just doesn't give a damn, or perhaps a fortysomething hipster who takes her job as a latte jockey way too seriously, burdened with the fervent but misplaced belief that the thing I want most while waiting for my coffee is a lecture on how to order correctly. Sooner or later, I'll end up sitting down with some other living, breathing bummer, who at some point in the conversation will explain to me why San Francisco is the best and everywhere else is the worst. Suddenly, I'm all, ah, never mind, at which point I get in the car, head across the Golden Gate Bridge and move on with my life.”
So he REALLY doesn’t like it.
Vancouver
Maybe it’s too much to ask an American to like Canada.
Cyclists ride through Stanley Park as rain falls in Vancouver, British Columbia. Picture: AP Source: AP
“Just stay home and look at pictures, because there really isn't much below the surface - nothing unique anyway,” Landsel writes.
Landsal says Vancouver is “no better than any American city”. Instead he suggests heading to Los Angeles where the weather is better and they have tacos. Or Seattle.
Asheville
But not with Landsel. He says Asheville is a “physically and emotionally fragmented mountain town full of people who seem really annoyed by everything”. A Hamptons with no beach, it has become a bottlenecked blot on a lovely landscape, seething with urban stressites searching fruitlessly for somewhere to park their Georgia-plated Hummers.”
Instead Landsel suggests heading to Mt Mitchell, the highest peak east of the Mississippi then Blue Ridge Parkway and down to the Great Smoky Mountains national Park.
Austin Texas
At least there are places in his own country that Landsel doesn’t like.
He says: “sprawling Austin is one of those unfortunate places that seems really smashing on paper. And then one ruins things by going.”
Instead he says tourists should head to Houston because that city is “impressively creative and very fun".
So now it's up to you. What destinations to you think are over-rated? And where should tourists go instead.
